Thursday, 15 February 2018

Fresh Perception

Yep today I will finish the following:
-laundry
-meal preps for the week
-do 1 hour workout
-meet up with my friend for coffee
-read...
Once upon a time in my previous life I would have nailed this with my eyes shut with a list three times as long.

In reality now, I would be lucky to start two of them. Now it is more like:
-put the laundry in the washer and hang it if can
-hmm toast will do
-does lifting a baby count?
-does watching the Real Housewives for 5 minutes count as friends?
-reading the label of Fess (nasal relief for babies) is all the reading I get

It is the new life I now live being a new mum. I use to be so hard on myself. I use to think I was a terrible partner, mother and human for failing at doing the things I use to do on top of being a new mum. I had no time to put together a resume, apply for the job or really get on site training. I was thrusted into a role with no manuals but instinct. Challenging is the best word to describe it. My partner would tell me I was doing great, however it wasn't enough. I would see other mothers with new borns and it was like cakewalk to them. While I was finding it hard to even brush my teeth at times. My 'ah ha' moment came in the form of a video that my facebook friend shared, who was also a new mum. The video is from a facebook page called Motherly.

See link below
https://www.facebook.com/motherlymedia/videos/2088184018126985/

It touched me to my core and validated exactly how I was feeling. All new new mums and more experienced mums should watch it. It is so true! When we beat ourselves up for doing what feels like 'nothing', we sometimes miss the bigger picture. I would be so hard on myself for doing 'nothing' while I was attending to the needs to this new little human. When really all the 'nothing' that I was doing, was actually everything.

All the glances, smiles, cries and little noises makes the challenge worth it. Wouldn't trade this little guy for all the books in the world, that is saying a lot for a bookworm like me.
 To all the mums out there, you are all doing the great! Sending you all virtual hugs and kisses oxox

PS. I feel like I am working in the circus at the moment; juggling. Currently working remotely from home, writing this post while my work stuff is spinning in thhe background, prepping new items to post on etsy as a small busines newb and keeping an eye on my little human as he sleeps. Spelling and grammer warriors please excuse my mistakes #mumlifeisthebest


Thursday, 14 December 2017

Diary of a New Mum

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

I have finally been inducted into the wonderful world of motherhood and privy to the trade secrets.

Where does one begin. I seemed to have lost my footing and don't seem to know what is up, down, left or right at times. First of all I must pre apologies for any grammar freaks out there, there will be some errors in my posts. I will try my best to spot them and correct them, but who knows when the time bomb that is my son will wake and demand milk like a vampire demands blood. That is actually what I call him, a milk vampire. A really cute one too that gives the Cullen's a run for their money.

I am currently writing as he is fast asleep in a sling on my chest, apparently he loves that, TODAY. But not yesterday, and who knows tomorrow. He seems to change everyday and I kinda feel like he is a Kinder Surprise, I never know what I am going get, but I know it will be cute.

The rumours are true. Nothing can prepare you enough for motherhood. NOTHING. No book, blog, video etc. Only the little tips that my mum and mother in law gave/give me are the ones that seem to reigned true.

Pregnancy is the beginning. Yes I had seen the movies and heard stories of different experiences but just rolled with the punches and embraced my own journey. It was amazing. I had it really easy compared to most. Not much sickness at all. The challenge for me was staying awake and the frequent toilet visits. Feeling the little life inside me was amazing, I loved knowing he would be one being that could hear my heart beat from the inside. I was imprinted the moment I first saw him in an ultrasound. The one thing that caught me off guard was the worry. I was usually mellow and accepted things I couldn't control, however the worry for another life other than my own put my anxiety into overdrive. I questioned every thing and was constantly Googling to the point where I was convinced I was crazy. Hot Tip: DON'T DO THAT!  Then I accepted that worry was part of the experience and made peace with it. Just as I was entering the third trimester and enjoying it, my bubba decided he had had enough and wanted to make a premature entry into the world at 30 weeks and 4 days. The labour was swift and there was no time for pain killer, go me! The voluntary torture was worth it after hearing his little cry. All the doctors and nurses around me were ah-mazing, they gave me diginity at my low points and assured me in ways no one could. The grandmas were a little worried for the well being of their first grandson, which is a given. However I had no doubt in mind this little Jedi of ours was a fighter and would be home in no time, bring balance to the force.

My instincts were correct, he ticked and conquered every milestone with flying colours to get home. He was perfect, other than the fact that he was early. He was home in no time and the next phase of being a mum began.

This for me was a game changer.  I had always been accustomed to order and schedules, my partner and I were a well oiled machine that just got things done.

Yes I had heard of the lack of sleep but I struggled with it in practice. I looked back at all the nights that I use to abuse sleep and stay up and my eye does a little twitch. Not to mention the cute weird little noises he makes, I think I got up no less than 23 times to check on him the first night he was home. Who knew a little being could make so many different noises.

The breastfeeding was another challenge. I was lucky enough to be able to produce his organic milk, but no one told me it could be stressful. All the commercials made it look easy, with the mum smiling and the baby smiling back. My little milk vampire on the other hand, wailed until he latched on and in the process scratched me out of frustration. Also the daily questions of, 'is my baby getting enough?' But I can't stress about it because if I do I might lesson my flow. Catch 22. Oh yeh and my wrists sounds like it needs some oiling, as he grows, the way I hold him to feed has to change too because he gets dang heavy and moves more. The hospital staff do mean well when they encourage breastfeeding but at times I felt peer pressure in doing so. 

Time management, another eye opener. I had to learn to accept that I would start things and try to finish them numerous times, and still might not finish it. I didn't know when he might demand attention. Best bookworm analogy I can give is, starting all these different books and not being able to finish them. The horror! I started to feel like I was failing when I would start chores, projects, work or even try to do something for myself and could never finish the task.

Who are you? I would sometimes think when I saw my partner. I was so consumed in taking care of our son that I neglected him at times and felt horrible.

The involuntary crying. Wow! I cried watching The Iron Fist (yes, Marvels' show), not just tear up but sobbed. Then I cried when I didn't get an ice cream and all I wanted was an ice cream because I didn't get to hang the washing on the line before dark. 'Who am I?' Then just as quickly as the feeling came it would pass.

Empathy. Empathy for other parents and babies was so overwhelming that hearing some horrible stories of babies made me feel physically ill and still does.

The high pitched baby voice and singing. My son is the only person in the world that appreciates my tone deafness and always politely smiles as my attempts.

A lot of changes in a small space of time was a lot and I take each day at a time and adjust to whatever the day brings.

Would I change anything if I could? Absolutely not. I loved/love and relish every moment with this little face.

I am so humbled to be his mum.  I have to give a shout out to all the other parents and parents to be. I had seen many parents during the 5 weeks my son was in hospital and it can get really tough. We were very lucky he is healthy with no complications, some parents have it hard. Being a parent is truly a labour of love and life changing one at that with no proper guide books. Sending love to all the nurses and doctors out there. The ones that took care of us were ah-mazing to the power of infinity, they became a second family and it was bittersweet to leave them when I was taking him home.

My son brings me a joy I never knew was possible and every uncomfortable moment was worth it. Motherhood is a personal journey and there are no set rules. I do my best and accept that worry for this little life is part of it. Since my partner, my son is the only other person that motivates me to be a better version of myself. He teaches me so much more about life and myself. It's a wonderful life.

Would love to hear any other experiences in the comments below.

PS. A nerd such as myself was not going to pass up a Jedi, Viking and Harry Potter newborn photoshoot :)

Sunday, 7 June 2015

Fork You! I'm full on work but there is always room for writing, travel and dessert...

I'm full on work but there is always room for writing, travel and dessert. 

This year feels like it only started yesterday and now we are half way into 2015. Just goes to show how much I have had on plate, I didn't even notice. I'm rather overwhelmed at the moment. It's 6am on a Monday, long weekend. I should be studying but instead blogging. My mind said 'fork you, I'm done.' This post is a mini rant.

I've been a bad bookworm. I have not read anything this year. Wait! That's a lie, I have been reading, but text books. As a bookworm I would rather be on some epic adventure in the Never Never or leading a rebellion.

2015 I entered with ferocious ambition. Kicked up the volunteer work again, began actively dating again, set up an etsy, selling items on ebay, started a new diploma in my thirties, booked in three overseas escapades (1 down 2 to go) + the necessary evil of working full time. Sprinkle on top writing, the necessity I need like air. Though I have bitten off more than I can chew, I have been diligent in writing my MO. It has been my reward when I finish studying and adulting for the day.

I know I'm not the only one who feels they have too much on their plate. What do you have going on and how do you treat yourself?
Vent with me say 'Fork You!'

Sunday, 22 February 2015

New Year. New Blog. New boys. Everything New!

Happy New Year!!! I know I'm a few weeks late... better late than never. Welcome to my first blog entry for 2015.

2014 ended with some big changes and 2015 began with everything new. New blog. New locations. New prospects. New years resolutions. And new boys.

I was on hiatus for some time. 2015 came at me like a freight train and the dust is just beginning to disperse. My brain is only now able to comprehend all the new things this year has brought with it.

Revamped blog. I redesigned everything here and gave it the tlc it needed from my months of neglect. I gave it a fresh new look that reflects all my passions. As before I will review books and movies, but I will also be sharing more of myself her. I'm rather private and I feel it's time to let go and express myself more openly and share some of experience, in the hopes others will relate.

New locations... my work has relocated and is adding more of my traveling time. I'm also planning on visiting new places and revisiting some old ones this year. It's been a while since I've had french toast in France, or had a beer at McDonalds in Italy. I've heard Middle Earth is nice during Autumn. Wanderlust addict!

My work relocation has added more stress than I expected. This forced me to consider new prospects. As a designer, I realised designing for others made me counter creative. As an artist I find designing for myself more fulfilling. Hence why I give away freebies for my fellow bookworms on here. So this year I have decided to take a leap and create my own original designs of stationary, cards, poster quotes and many other things. Some will bookish related and others... well I'm just going where the wind blows me be. Watch this space. I'm extremely excited about this new business project. Ideas welcome!

Be the best me I can be. This is one of my three new years resolutions. I'm working on a life overhaul. So far so good.

Secondly get my MO edited. Yes I have finally finished the first story Defying Darkness in my series. My WIP has been in the works for some years and this is a huge milestone for a wannabe writer like me. Now to get an editor. I'm extremely nervous about this. Writer friends, tips would be great.

My third resolution for this year is to meet a nice guy. It's been over a year since my last serious relationship, and last year I think my rubbish bin went out more often than I did. So this year I'm throwing myself into the dating pool (aka online dating and good old fashioned nights out) and so far I'm treading water. I've met some crazys, which is unavoidable I guess. They are rather entertaining though. One told me he loved a 'healthy debate.' So when I disagreed with his conviction, he threw a tantrum. What are we 8 years old? If we were that would make more sense, but he was 31. Then another one told me he liked me and we'd probably get married... ah ok, but you haven't met me yet. 
Though two months into the year and I have met two great men. I'm still in the infancy stage of getting to know them. 
You know you're a book worm when... you go on a date and compare the looks of your date to a fictional character. One,  looks a little like Adrian Ivashkov, sandy brown/blond hair, green eyes, tall, only minus the sarcasm. Maybe he'll let me call him Adrian.

This new year brought many news' with it. I forecast a year full of fun, challenges and surprises. I can't wait to see what this year has in store. 

What's your new years resolution?

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Day Trip to Vanguard with Erin Rhew



With The Prophecy sequel, The Outlanders release just around the corner *happy dance.* I asked the creator and very talented author of The Fulfillment Series Erin Rhew,  out for tea. I was elated when she obliged, and insisted I go to her. I did insist for selfish reasons. I wanted to grill her with questions + I eagerly wanted to visit the realm she created... and I also hoped she could set me up with Samson. Can't blame a girl for trying.

The baker's shop in Vanguard didn't look very much like a bakery. I almost walked straight past it. It was only because I saw Erin waving to me from a table that I realised I was at the right place. The bakery was still under repair from when Layla threw Elder Werrick into it.

When the tea arrived and almost spilt it in my excitement. I was in Vanguard. Standing on the same earth as Samson. Sitting next to the architect.


Congrats on wining the most social author of 2013-2014 and most of all congratulations on the release of the Prophecy.
 --Thank you so much! I’m thrilled by both! 

Is there any advice you want to share with aspiring authors such as myself?
 --Two things: 1) Edit, edit, edit. I thought The Prophecy was ready for submission when I began querying, but I found out, the hard way, it wasn’t. Even when you think you’re done, even when you think it’s the best it can be, edit some more. Ask for help from beta readers and critique partners who can show you things you’ve missed. 2) Never give up. The publishing world is tough, and you will take plenty of hard knocks. But hold on to your dream. Never give it up. Never surrender.

What inspired you to write your first book?
 --I can’t point to any one thing, but I think Game of Thrones and Arthurian legend played a big role. 

Are the characters or events based loosely on real life?
 --No, all the characters and events spring to life out of my own mind. I’m sure some characters have traits of people I admire or dislike, but overall, they are just figments of my imagination (ok, I’ll be honest, even though they are imaginary, they’re my friends). 

What was the most fun part to write and what was the most challenging?
 --Writing believable people, people in whom a reader can invest, is the hardest and most enjoyable part of writing. The most fun person to write, and he remains that way throughout the series, is Samson. He’s my homage to Percy Jackson, whom I adore. I’m not nearly as witty as Rick Riordan, but I wanted to pay some sort of respect to snarky Percy.
 The most challenging part to write was Layla. At first, she didn’t have the internal strength I wanted for her, so she took several re-writes. 

 Do you have a favourite character?
 --I do. But…I can’t tell you which one, or it might spoil things… ;)

Do you see yourself more of an Ethereals, Vanguard, Ecclesiastic, Volton or Outlander?
 --I think I’m a Vanguard-Volton mix.  I believe I’m tough and tenacious while also being studious and dedicated to learning.

If I was going to take a holiday into The Prophecy world, where would you advise I stay?
 --I’d recommend Volton or Etherea. You’re likely to get killed in Vanguard. We know little about the Outlanders, so you’re taking a big gamble if you go there. Besides, who would want to spend any time with Elder Werrick and the Ecclesiastics? LOL!

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?
 --I don’t think I set out with a message in mind. I just wanted readers to fall in love with the characters and enjoy the story. But my content editor, Katie Carroll, pointed out that my story has a lot to do with challenging prejudice and seeing people for who they really are versus your impression of them.

 Can we get a snippet of the next book in the Fulfilment Series? Pretty Please *giving my best puppy dog eyes*
 --Hmmmmm…maybe a little peek… ;)
 “The message of the First Ones—their beginning, their struggle, their end, the cause of the war—all belong to the Ecclesiastics now, and they dole out only what benefits the current Elder. The story is one of love, lies, treachery, death, and war. We are all decedents of this legacy.”

Read my review on The Prophecy here.

Take a sneak peak into The Prophecy here.

Purchase The Prophecy NOW!!! Order Now!!!

Friday, 1 August 2014

Guardian of the Galaxy Review

So I watched Guardian of the Galaxy last night and the only world that comes to mind; AWESOME!

Marvel you have done it again. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie from beginning to end. The easy flow of the story was a delight to watch on a Friday night after a hectic week. I found the movie light with enough seriousness to grip me. 

The cast ensemble was was epic. Who ever does the casting for Marvel movies should get a pay rise. From a graphic artist point of view I soaked up all the details in the costumes, make up and set. Kudos to all those involved, they left no stone unturned and it shows. The writers also need to be mentioned, if I met any of them I would give them a big high five. The links to the other Marvel franchise was noticed by us Marvel Fanatics. The script was hilarious, I have never laughed that much in any Marvel movie. In fact everyone involved should get a bonus. 

Giving the moving a 9.5/10. It's a great family friendly movie that will entertain the children and the adults alike. 

So peeps I suggest you familiarize yourself with Star Lord and the Guardians of the Galaxy, I have no doubt you will be seeing more of them. 


I wonder if I can apply to be a guardian myself. Happy to be a decoy when needed. I could assist Star Lord in a dance off. Just tell me where to sign :D

Don't forget, a true Marvel fan stays until the end credits have finished rolling...

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

My characters accused me of being a bad writer...

So now that all the World Cup hoopla is over and I have recovered from post football fever I am ready to get back into writing. I was too distracted with skilfully toned men running across a field. My sleeping pattern has just returned to its normal routine. Normal being 5 hours of sleep and 3 hours chatting to my characters about my MO (my WIP). They had the audacity to confront me.

Zach: Well, well, well. Look who has finally thought we were worthy of her time again.

Me: It was World Cup dude. It happens every four years. A football junkie like yourself should understand.

Zach: Hey I often say 'if the ball ain't round it ain't football.' But you could have stopped by to say 'hey' every now and then. It's been a month women! I thought we meant something to you?

Raiden: Said the one who was glued to the TV watching every game, between the games and admiring yourself in the mirror, I'm surprised you even noticed. She did come in every now and then and did edits between games.

Me: Thank you for noticing Rai.

Zach: Maybe on you. I've been in limbo.

Raiden: *Laughs* You're jealous you think I'm her favourite.

Zach: Get out of my head Dokkalfar, it's creepy you can do that. Don't know if I'll ever get use to it *shivers* Imagine reading a book and not being able to read the ending. That is literally where we are. It's really annoying any bookworm would agree with me.

Raiden: And you being able to appear where ever you like isn't creepy? I really didn't appreciate you creating a wormhole into my bathroom.

Zach: Hey I needed to tell you something.

Raiden: A knock knock joke is something that can wait.

Zach: "Who's there?" wasn't going to ask itself, was it?

Me: Boys--

Zach: Oh sorry. I didn't recognise you, it's been so long *Gives his signature closed lipped smile with one dimple*

Raiden: Leave her alone mongrel *grins*

Zach: I'm not a dog.

Raiden: Sometimes your manners would prove otherwise.

Me: So how's Ana?
*I interrupt trying to defuse the banter*
*Both boys stop. They have mirror expressions, both looking at their feet, their cheeks a slight pink hue.*

Xander: I don't play chess, but check mate. Nice move Ang. Is that all I have to say to shut those two up. See what happens when you aren't around?

Me: So sorry guys. I will crack the whip and get back into it.
* Zach pretends to lasso me in* I have to confess I had a little writers block as well.

Xander: Awe wanna drink about it?

Zach: How can you have writer block with us? You have an eclectic mix of hot homosapians.

Raiden: *Laughs* can you even name all the seven species?

Zach: *Starts counting them on his fingers* Elves, nephilim, humana, fei, vamps, vitterfolk ... umm.

Theo: Lycanthrope. How could you forget me? I'm your best friend. Dude I put sunscreen on your back in public even though it looks questionable.

Ana: That's enough, all of you! You two *points to Theo and Xander* Ella has been looking for you. And you two *eyes Zach and Raiden* Leave her be and let her get back to work. *Obediently they motion to leave.*

Zach: Just want to address one last thing, because it will come up later.

Me: What is it Zach?

Raiden: Bloody hell. Get over it. I'm her favourite.

Zach: Stop reading my mind. Ang is that true?

Raiden: I just read hers and I'm her favourite, deal with it. *Raiden hid a sly smile on his face.*

Ana: *Ana began ushering the pair out the door.* I'll take these two distractions away. FYI I would really love it if we get to go to France in your future writings. *She winks closing the door behind her.*

Click here and read more about my MO

Saturday, 31 May 2014

City of Heavenly Fire Review

Calming rune? Check. Box of tissues? Check. Iratze over heart? Check. 

No amount of preparation was enough for Cassandra Clare's final instalment of The Mortal Instruments-- City of Heavenly Fire.

After harassing my local book store to ensure the arrival of the book was still on the track for the 27th May, when it finally arrived I felt I was holding gold. My precious. After the initial shock of finally having the book, I looked at the glossy cover of the book and realised Cassie had my heart in her hands. The pages before me I knew would bring me joy and pain. Typical Cassandra Clare. After inhaling the new book smell, I opened to the first page and willingly took a leap into the abyss.

200 000 words were before me. Each one bringing me to the end of one of my favourite series. Like an addict I devoured the book and was drunk on it, a book hangover lingered for days after I finished. City of Heavenly Fire was an all consuming, electrifying read. Beautiful torture.

A dynamic riveting plot coupled with heart provoking moments. Laugh out loud anecdotes, exciting action with heart straining moments. As I read I was counting down the infamous '6 deaths we know by name' that Cassie hinted. With each emotional juncture I got chills, fearing Cassie will take another character away from me. I still have scars from Clockwork Princess. There were some patches in the story that I questioned but I happily overlooked. Kudos to Cassie for majestically linking The Infernal Devices. It made the fangirl inside of me that never ages very giddy. 

Cassie is a master story teller of our time and one of my all time favourite authors. Never have I been so in love with a world since Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. She makes the Shadow World seem like a tangible world and I have yet to learn to see beyond the glamour. She has a beautiful gift from the angel to command words. Each page I turned with hesitation and anticipation.

8/10

A must read for all shadowhunters. Thank you Cassie for the wonderful adventure that is The Mortal Instruments. Every pitful, heartache and tear was worth it for all the jokes, smiles and happiness. It is a fitting conclusion that will not disappoint. I swear on the angel.

"Temper us in fire, and we grow stronger. When we suffer, we survive."


Saturday, 24 May 2014

X-men Days of Future Past Review

Amazing. Compelling. Stupendous. Adjectives describing X-men Days of Future Past.

A round of applause to Marvel for hiring the most talented writers. A standing ovation to those behind the scenes. Their creative plot which linked real history was simply ingenious. Coupled with today's technology, equated to a 134 minutes of pure gold entertainment.

I had only ever known Professor X to be composed and wise. Seeing him struggle like the rest of us humans brought a different dimension to his character. In fact all the characters, I saw from a different vantage point while still capturing the essence of their attributes. Their back stories brought warmth to the story.

Viewers will not be disappointed, with impressive action sequences. I accepted no less from Marvel. It's a marvelous display of resourcefulness as the mutants use their gifts to survive. 

As a Marvel fan I was giddy with all the minor details and the ties acknowledging the previous movies. There were some questions that surfacef at the back of my mind as I watched but I was happy to overlook them. I struggled in vain to fall in love with X-men 2 and 3, though this movie makes up for it, and all is forgiven.

9.5/10

Clear your plans, fake a sickie, do what you must to get to the cinemas. It will not disappoint.  I would suggest you watch the previous movies before watching this one or at least watch First Class. Days of Future Past is the kind of movie you need to see more than once and will draw you in again every time..

So many battles waged over the years... and yet, none like this. Are we destined to destroy each other, or can we change each other and unite? Is the future truly set? 
-Profession Charles Xavier